John Beck

Slander: Promising the consumer "Real Estate For Pennies On The Dollar! Where You Live!"

John Beck is a regular on the late-night airwaves aimed solely at the most desperate among us. His Free & Clear Real Estate Investing Program promises real estate for pennies on the dollar, which is a euphemism for paying a tiny fraction of the normal price. An offer like that can make many easily-swayed Americans let their greed and desperation take control of their decision-making processes. I, however, pride myself on my will-power. I would never allow myself to be influenced by such a “too good to be true” offer. My mother beat it into me to know better than that.

However, I did have some spare change lying around and thought that it was worth a try in the interest of Scam America! I always have you, the consumer, and my portfolio, on my mind at all times.

I purchased his program Pennies on the Dollar, and I must say, I have never been more dissatisfied with a product since that George Foreman grill I was given that did nothing more than sap the meat of all it’s delicious juice!

His product clearly states that it will teach me how to purchase homes all over the United States and Canada (the malformed brother who lives in the attic) for as little as “2 or 3 cents on the dollar, free and clear, and with no monthly payments!” After reading this on the back cover and noticing how packed was my change jar, I was very excited. But as I am an extremely busy man, I did not have the time to read the entire booklet, so I leafed through and mainly inspected the houses that Beck cited as being available under his Free and Clear system. They looked to be in extremely good conditions for homes offered at only a handful of change, at the most.

Using the resources of Scam America!, I tracked one of these houses down, and with a pocketful of change I was prepared to make a full offer, no matter what the owner threw at me. It’s rare in my profession to find a possible scam that actually turns out to be genuine, but I thought I had. There was just something about the confidence the blurbs on the cover of John’s booklet conveyed, something about that winning smile of his next to the extra-large image of $100 bills spread out in the banner on his website, that made me feel I had finally found a pony worth backing. Oh, how wrong I was.

I arrived at the home and was astounded by how beautiful it was, and thought, in addition to the home of my wife and I and any future children, it would make a great base of operations for Scam America!I knocked on the door, and when the man of the house appeared I brandished the handful of change I’d brought and told him, “Don’t even give me a price. Just let me know how long it’ll take for you and your family to find another place.” He stood there for a moment, then laughed and slammed the door in my face. I was delusional at that point; I thought it had just not been the correct house.

It was. And so were the 5 other houses I visited after that, each where I met with similar results. All approved by John Beck’s Free & Clear program. When I got home, I checked to make sure I really did have two legs and wasn’t wearing a leather mini-skirt, because it felt as if I had just been screwed like a one-legged hooker. How shamed I felt, that I had fell for it. That bald sack of shit lied to me, with his shiny grin!

But I had my pride hurt before, and always picked myself up again. This time would be no different. It had cost me little, only $24.95 for the book and a slight fire hazard when the book self-destructed when I tried to call the help hotline. And I had gained something: the wisdom to tell you that John Beck’s Free & Clear program is MOST DEFINITELY A SCAM! I learned firsthand that you simply cannot buy homes for pennies on the dollar. Maybe you can in a perfect world. But this isn’t a perfect world…It’s America!

Eat shit and die, you bald turd.

This has been Scam America!, always looking out FOR YOU!

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